20 Things Learned in 20 Years

As my birthday creeps around the corner, April to be exact, I found myself reflecting on how

much life I have lived and what I have learned from my 20 years in this world. I compiled the

key lessons that I have learned these last 20 years and will continue to use moving forward as

well.

1. Hurry Up and Wait:

Maybe this is due to the fact that my mother was in the army and always told me that

timeliness was essential to make it in this world, but nonetheless, she was correct.. Being on

time makes such an impression to any employer or person in your life. It can better your

day resulting in a more productive use of your time.

2. Stop and Smell the Sunflowers

So many people today forget to enjoy the simple things in life whether it be waking up a few

minutes earlier in the morning to enjoy the beauty of the sunrise or the barista at Starbucks

accidentally making an extra coffee so you get it for free. It is so important to be able to

look at the world we live in and see how much we all take advantage of to be able to ensure

that nothing is taken for granted.

3. Look Up

I noticed this as I began my Freshman year of college; when walking around campus,

very few people are not looking at their phone. I found myself doing the same thing for

a little while until I noticed how insecure I felt without having my phone in my hand. I

used it as an excuse to not interact with those passing by. I recently started putting my

phone in my bag as I walk places such as class or the library so that I can enjoy the

nature that surrounds me and interact with those around me as well. This has been life-

changing as bizarre as that sounds. I now smile more frequently at those that walk past

me and am able to see more of my friends that might be passing by. You have forever to

be on your phone, soak in the earth when you walk around, don't take it for granted.

4. Say Yes

Not trying to quote Jim Carey in the movie “Yes Man” or anything, but say yes more!

Take the extra opportunities to get out of your comfort zone. Trying new things is good

and it is a great way to meet new people.

5. Disconnect

My new favorite activity to partake in is to hike, run, or walk without any electronics.

Whether that be on my campus or up a mountain, there is something so refreshing

when you disconnect yourself from the mobile world. Taking time to meditate, practice

yoga, or taking a bath, can change one’s day for the better and help those become more

in touch with themselves.

6. Attentiveness

I learned this throughout middle school and high school but did not actually take any of

it into account until college. I find my mind wandering in classes and lectures that I am

required to attend. Not that the subjects that the professors are explaining are

necessarily boring per say, but I have always struggled with focusing in school. What I

have come to realize is that anything and everything can be related to your life in one

way or another, even if it it seems as though it does not. I especially felt this way in my

math classes throughout my life, I always knew that I would need basic math skills to

count money, do taxes, etc. But, the more advanced mathematics that I was taught, I

never tried to remember the formula. what I learned is that all of those things I found

useless, it did have an impact on my life in one way or another. Take everything in, it

may come in handy one day.

7. Go with the Flow

I learned this lesson especially from my father, he always stressed, “go with the flow”

especially when something went wrong in life, or if I was in an argument with one of my

sisters. What I have found is that with those situations that can be brushed off and

forgotten within a few days or hours, it is not worth it to make a big deal. This especially

helped my when dealing with peers and friends. It is easier to brush small things off and

not make situations more difficult, pick your battles or else you'll be fighting forever.

8. Spontaneous

I used to always to be scared of everything, boats, planes, and heights. I found that

being scared of something like that isn't necessarily a way to keep one safe, rather it has

held me back in several situations in my life. I was studying abroad in Costa Rica this

past summer, I knew that as a group we planned to go zip-lining. Physical heights never

really bothered me, it was dropping from the height that had the impact it has on my

stomach. After zip lining, there was a Tarzan swing that everyone was so excited to jump

off of. It was incredibly tall and dropped off of a mountain, it terrified me just looking at

it. I was set on not participating with the death wish swing and then it made me realize

though I am petrified of dropping from far heights, I noticed that I have not actually

tried doing something I was scared of since I was a child. I ended up jumping off the

swing and it was honestly the scariest thing I have ever done but I am so glad that I did

and proved to myself that just because that is one of my fears, doesn't mean that it can

hold me back.

9. Minimalistic

Society today says that designer items such as bags, shoes, and clothing are desirable and

owning those types of items will increase your chances of one becoming more accepted

into the society that we live in. I used to think that way, there was always a new purse or

item that I would always kill for but it would literally break my bank. It took me a while to

come to the realization that those things do not add much to your life. If you think about it,

what is that item doing for you? Making you more desirable to others around you? If those

around you are attracted to you because of. The things that you own, does that make them

genuine people that you want to surround yourself with? I’m not implying that having

designer things is bad rather, lusting after materialistic items, one after the other while

falling into society’s trap of never accepting someone without those things can be very

negative.

10. Are you okay?

It is okay to not be okay. Give yourself and those around you a break and embrace the

sad, bad, and tragic. Even though these times are not always the best situations to find

yourself in, they help you grow as a person and are a part of life, something that cannot

be taken aback or prevented. Life happens and so do mistakes, take them in and

embrace them even if it seems impossible, go with the flow.

11. Go the Extra Mile

Having experienced many different types of people and how they interact and what

they seem like they are missing in their life, I often stumble upon those that are

yearning for something magical in their life. What I mean be magical is that they wish

everything would be handed to them, like most people, it is easier to receive what you

want rather than actually work for it, which I am guilty of as well. What I have learned is

that going the extra mile for those around you or even a stranger can make all of the

difference in a person’s life. I try to do one positive thing everyday that I can whether it

be paying for the person’s toll or coffee behind me in the drive-through. Going the extra

mile can also be going above and beyond for those in your life.

12. Natural

Body image and appearance are aspects of people’s lives that many have issues with. So

many eating disorders are rooted from within and from society. I used to cake my face

with pounds of makeup to try and hide my insecurities and the shame I had about

myself. Self-acceptance is so hard to attain and those who have accomplished this task

are usually a lot happier and embrace life more. I challenged myself the year of 2016 to

give up make-up for everyday use and only apply it for special occasions. At first this was

so difficult, I despised my skin and how my face looked naked. It scared me how

insecure I was without “fixing” my face to what I thought looked decent. As of now, I

have only worn make-up a handful of times for particular events and as small as this

challenge seems, it has changed my life and my opinion on myself. My skin cleared up so

much, and I am growing into loving myself for everything that I am on the inside and

out. It is amazing how much makeup can give someone confidence or kill one’s

confidence without it. Makeup is an amazing way to express one’s self and help with

confidence and self-acceptance, and I'll always love applying it and seeing the person I

can created myself into, but I will never become so dependent on it again to love myself.

13. Compliment

I'm not going to lie, I love getting compliments on my outfits, makeup, and other things

about myself. It makes my day every time. I used to never compliment anyone ever, I

felt weird doing it. I started speaking my mind about people in a positive way and

expressing things that I liked about them. I found that the compliments worked both

ways, not only would I brighten someone’s day by letting them know that I loved

something about them, the feeling of seeing someone smile because of something said

makes the happiness contagious. Tell people what you’re thinking, you might just make

someone’s day.

14. Learn

Going back on learning and appreciating education, the way to go about life is to look at

it as an adventure; you're constantly learning new things every day whether it be

something small or something large. Taking things people say in and soaking it all in can

give you a new perspective on something you might of never thought of before. One of

my favorite things to do when I travel is to talk to as many locals as I can. Talking with

those that might have experienced something completely different than yourself can be

so interesting. I was in the airport for spring break and started a conversation to this

woman next to me and learned that she was living in Indonesia while the Second World

War was occurring. I had never thought about how other parts of the world were

affected by the actions of different countries during that time. I only really thought

about Holland, Germany, and Poland. She was put into a concentration camp with her

mother and was separated from her father and brother for three years. This to me was

such an eye opener, you never really know anything about a person unless you ask.

15. Give back

Giving back can be much more than donating to a local charity or goodwill. Something

such as giving care packages out to those living on the street when it is cold or raising

money for those less fortunate around the world can make such a difference. Not only

should people give back to those around us, we also should give back to the earth that

we inhabit. We take so much from the earth and wear it down, plant a tree, recycle, pick

up trash if you see it outside. It makes such a difference even if one person starts caring

for the earth. It is important to look out for the earth because so many people treat the

earth like it is invincible.

16. Appreciate

I think that appreciation is the lesson that I am most thankful for and something that I am

constantly learning everyday that I live. There are so many aspects of life to be grateful for,

it is always a constant reminder to myself that there is always someone that has it worse

than you, which is why giving back is so important to me. With the that, this isn't saying that

I do not have my days that I feel down and upset, we are all entitled to those. Take

everything in and don't overlook the small things, they may be the most important.

17. Forgive

It is often common for many people to hold grudges against one another. It is so easy to

take something the complete opposite as it was intended by the sender of the message.

Like I said earlier, go with the flow, it is better to pick your battles wisely. Forgiveness

can be a powerful thing and can make those closer after forgiveness.

18. Write

My whole life, writing has always been my passion and I journaled every spare second that I

had. Writing was my outlet and a way I felt freely to express my true emotions and feelings.

After seeing an interview with Anne Frank’s father, Otto Frank, he stated that you do not

really know someone unless you have read inside their mind, like he did with Anne’s diary.

This was really interesting and sad to me because he said that the person writing in her

diary was not the same person as his daughter he knew. Not that anything she said was

horrible, it is just that very few people really open themselves and show their true colors.

This encouraged me to write more so that I could learn more about myself and be able to

look back and see how I saw the world and those around me.

19. Confidence

“Confidence is Key.” I'm not sure how many hundred times I have heard this statement.

I never really thought that much into it, but growing up, traveling around the world and

learning about new cultures really emphasized this saying to me. If you're comfortable

with yourself and embrace yourself, it is easier to be confident and love yourself and

those around you. Confidence is such an attractive trait to so many people but is not

very common within the human race.

20. Love

Love is my final lesson learned by twenty, but certainly not the last. Love has so many

meanings within it like self-love, loving the earth, and all those that inhabit the earth as

well. I am not completely finished learning how to love more and better, I still struggle

with self-love and accepting some of those around me. For the most part, I try to

practice what I believe to be positive for myself and all of those around me. It is so

important to find self-love and do what you can to create the life for yourself that you

desire. Radiate positivity and you'll get it back.

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